Those questions we hear over and over and over and over again through the inquisitive and innocent little minds of our youngest friends. It can be exhausting seeking to try to answer them all. Sometimes we just surrender to blanketed answers like, “just because” or “because I’m a grown up” or “because God made them that way.” I will not deny that I have passed the explaining off to God many times when the truth is, He has placed me as the adult in a situation to be His voice. He has created all of us in His image and desires for us that are farther along to impart the wisdom we have gained on those walking behind us.
Yet, that causes a rise in patience. It invokes the act of listening. It forces us to pause and see others as Jesus sees us all - little children that He beckons to come unto Him.
As for the literal little ones, imagine all that they do not yet comprehend and all the types of deductive reasoning they have yet to accomplish. If we just stop and recognize they are decades behind us on true comprehension, it makes the answering of obvious questions so much easier. And just when we think we have the inquisitive stage behind us…
Why can’t Phoebe spend the night? Why do I have to go to school? Why do grades even matter? Why do you care what I wear? Why will his reputation affect mine? Why have you taken my phone? Why do we have to go to church? Why are you ruining my life?
The questions don’t stop. In fact, they get harder. They get more annoying; but, not really annoying, more challenging. Parents of teenagers will tell you that they find these years to be a challenge because they’re often faced with questions that truly just feel like should be answered with a stern, “because I said so!” Yet, the challenge is not to our authority. No, don’t tell yourself that lie, although all parents do. We think they are challenging our control. We think they are questioning our rules. They are initiating rebellion!
Nope! They are not. I’m sorry to break it to you, but I think deep down you knew it. They are still the innocent little girl you were parenting 10 years earlier desperately wanting someone to explain to them why the sun is yellow and why it rises some days and does not appear to do so on other days and how that is going to affect her life. Her questions are valid. She needs a trustworthy answer.
She still needs you to engage in the battle with patience. She still needs you to sit and listen, TRULY listen. She still needs you to pause and see her as Jesus sees her.
Unfortunately, the actual problem is not the question, but rather the timing. It can/will come after we have failed to explain the progression of our lives at the same rate of change they are encountering. My girls still talk with me pretty openly, and that is by the grace of God. Yet, there are many times that I am faced with situations that rise up which expose life lessons I have not invested the time or patience to truly invest. As a result, there rises a need for careful and cautious redirecting as I explain how I missed that blaring moment of discovery. For example, we had to explain to one child the other day about the cautions of what is posted on social media.
I hear you all saying, well, duh. Seriously, though. We thought we had covered this topic, but really we had just assumed “our” common sense was absorbed by osmosis. Her common sense is present, but because she has not been exposed to as much pain, dejection, ridicule, and crime as we have, her actions were innocent. She did not intend to cause any harmful repercussions from her actions, but we live in a fallen world, so there’s that. We spent some time redirecting her thinking so that the next time she was faced with a decision of similar nature, she was better equipped as to how to proceed.
Now be mindful of this truth, their progression of life and rate of change is at a speed that we have allowed, so when the speed is faster than we are comfortable with, we feel anxious and easily irritated, and quite frankly, scared. We have tons of life lessons that need to be taught happening all at the same time and our need to pause and listen just became overwhelming. Don’t give up! They need answers. They need direction. They need you to point them to where to find the answers when you are no longer available. Like…
Why did I not get the job? Why doesn’t he love me anymore? Why do I only feel relaxed after a few drinks? Why does my friendship feel so surface level? Why can’t I sleep? Why do I have all this debt? Why can’t we have the life we deserve?
Now there is nobody to ask these questions toward. Many of us still ask why, but there is not a mom to yell at anymore and our spouse is no longer our soulmate we confide in and our friends only want to talk about the town and not their hearts and who can afford a therapist. But still. But still that little girl who wants to know why the sun is yellow and why it rises some days and does not appear to do so on other days…that little girl still lives inside our soul and will never stop asking why.
So who do we ask? Who has the answer? Who knows our purpose and the reason for our time? Who will engage in the battle of patience over us? Who will listen, TRULY listen? Who will pause and see us as Jesus sees us - even farther, who will help us look in the mirror and see Jesus as Jesus sees us? You know the answer, but sometimes we need to ask the question so that we can audibly hear someone give us affirmation. We need to ask because we also want to know if anybody is listening? We may not say all of the questions out loud, but our heart is constantly asking. My heart is constantly seeking and I am thankful that my God is constantly pausing, listening and letting me see, ready to respond with enough to sustain me but not to scare me.
In 2005, Casting Crowns released the the song “Does Anybody Hear Her” and that song truly wrecked me. My brokenness was not necessarily about my broken life, although my life is not remotely an example of unmarred clay. The brokenness was for the women who I come in contact daily in all of life’s circles whom are living representations of this girl. Remember the song? Here are some of the lyrics to jog your memory or awaken your soul.
She is running
A hundred miles an hour in the wrong direction
She is trying
But the canyon's ever widening
In the depths of her cold heart
So she sets out on another misadventure just to find
She's another two years older
And she's three more steps behind
Does anybody hear her? Can anybody see?
Or does anybody even know she's going down today
Under the shadow of our steeple
With all the lost and lonely people
Searching for the hope that's tucked away in you and me
Does anybody hear her? Can anybody see?
You see, the girls who are preteens embarking on some of the most horrendous years of their lives are asking questions - questions that beg to be answered before another misadventure.
The teenager who has already made bad choices and is wondering if there is no turning back is asking questions - questions that beg to be answered before she is three more steps behind.
The college student who is feeling alone in the middle of a giant sorority full of “sisters” is asking questions - “Does anybody hear me?”
The young professional who is successfully climbing the ladder with poise and accuracy is asking questions - “Can anybody see?”
The single mom of three who is desiring to have a man who will take care of her and her precious babies is asking questions - with all the lost and lonely people.
The middle age mom who is wondering if she is going to ever feel pretty again is asking questions - searching for the hope.
The stay-at-home mom with an empty nest is asking questions - “Is the canyon widening?
The retirement ready woman who wants to travel the world is asking questions - “How long have I been running?”
The grandmother raising her grandson is asking questions - “Does anybody hear me?”
The great-grandmother with Alzheimer’s is asking questions - “Can anybody see me?”
They are all full of questions. Questions more than the Southern casual and empty “how are you?”
When is the last time you spoke to your son?
Who is loving you best these days?
How have you been doing with your self-care?
Have you extended grace to others today?
Have you extended grace to yourself?
How is your soul?
What’s keeping your mind preoccupied?
Why do you think you are experiencing this chapter of your story?
How can I help you pick up your pen and write a better ending?
What is the “why” you need answered today?
Where are you seeing God?
Where do you desire to see God more clearly?
Or simply ask the questions that you wish someone would ask you. Pause and exercise patience. And then here is the next part. The most important part of all. Sit and listen to her response. Just LISTEN.
Be Jesus. That is our sole purpose. Listen. Be His hands and feet.
Often we don’t ask questions of depth because we don’t have time for the in depth conversation that we feel must ensue. Perhaps there isn’t an in-depth conversation that must ensue.
Other times, and probably most often, we don’t ask in-depth questions because we don’t feel as if we will have the answers. You are right. You will not always have the answer. How can you? You are not all psychologists or psychiatrists or theorists or Solomon (you know the wisest guy in the Bible, who really may be questionable on the wisest since he chose to try to have all those wives).
You are just you. But be the best you. Pause. Listen. Be Jesus.
But you have two ears of which God has equipped you with. The purpose of your ears were to listen to His creation, to all of His creation, and to recognize what great things He has done.
Right now, I am sitting outside listening to at least 5 different birds make sounds. Each one of those birds are speaking their language to another of their species. They are letting the other birds know that they are not alone.
Our voice is made to call and respond as well. Call out to someone today and let them know they are not alone. Then listen as they respond.
What is your purpose? To become more like Jesus every day. That’s it.
To listen to God explain why either to you or through you.
Be still and hear why.
No comments:
Post a Comment