Finding Purpose

At the beginning of the year, many ladies in my area gathered together to evaluate our individual purpose. Really, it was just another way of wording the ever popular New Year’s activity where we align our priorities, set goals and establish our ambition for the road that is before us. We seek to take our thoughts captive. We seek to reflect on the failures and successes of the year before - or even the decade before as it is 2020. We identify our stumbling blocks. We identify our strengths. Then we devise a plan. Some call them New Year’s Resolutions. Some call them Life Goals. We call it Purpose.

However, it was a desire of many for this night of self-evaluation to recognize not only what has not been accomplished, but also what shouldn't be accomplished. Women all too often overload their schedule and their ambition with tasks that are deceivingly important, yet the necessity of the task can be reassigned, or do I dare say, ditched.

We feel the need to make the perfect dinner that is Pinterest worthy. I mean, who makes just “spaghetti” anymore?

We feel the need to have the most presentable house - from the tulips at the front door to the family portrait over the mantle. Everyone is measuring your crepe myrtles to make sure you trimmed them on the right date for proper growth, right?

We feel the need to have our child actively involved every season in some extracurricular. What do you mean you take Winter off? There is basketball to be played or travel volleyball or crap, now there is indoor softball? Yes. That’s right. Indoor. In a rodeo arena, at that.

We feel the need to write the perfect posts on each social media vehicle and don’t forget the perfect filter. I do admit I retake my picture more often than not, but that is because I just don’t take a good picture. Meaning, my eyes are closed or I am looking with the angle where I have all 7 of my chins visible.

We feel the need to have the perfect car that is appropriate for our stage in the journey. You mean to tell me that you have a family of five and do not have a 3rd row SUV or a mini-van? What are you thinking? Fuel economy? Yeah, right!

We feel the need to plan the most memorable vacations. Since when have you rested on a vacation? Who does that?

We feel the need to supply our family with all the latest gadgets and gizmos. No, my 8 year old doesn’t have a phone yet. I’m not that crazy. But they can text “grandma” from their iPod, tablet, or simply call her from any room in the house by yelling some woman’s name - “ALEXA, CALL MEEMAW.” And bicycles? Wow, what are those? Not when you can hoverboard to your neighbor’s house.

We feel the need to have the most rigorous workout routine. I haven’t slept more than 4 hours a night in a month, but gosh I am getting that burn at 5:00am Camp Gladiator. Can’t you tell? Just don’t look at the 4 inches of concealer over the bags under my eyes.

We feel the need to trend with the latest health craze. Kale chips! That is all I will say.

We feel the need to be knowledgable of the community and the most influential contributors. Did you know that the Wilson family is buying a lake house? We all know where the teenagers will be this summer!

We feel the need to have an eccentric craft or side hustle. For the love of all humanity, we are so committed to creative writing that we are paying people to teach us how to write letters in pretty formats so we can save money and not have to buy tags at Christmas. We do realize the money we spent on the online program to teach us calligraphy costs more than the Christmas tags at Walmart, right?

We feel the need to know all the latest media moguls. You mean you can’t tell me the cast list for Stranger Things? Of course it isn’t just Winona Ryder!!!

And then…we go to church. Whew.

We feel the need to be able to state we have completed the works of a trending author and their study…that is until you are on Day 4 of a Beth Moore study and you secretly slide that study under your mattress praying for osmosis because who has time for this lesson? Did you see all the other things I am juggling.

And there it is. We are so busy that we can’t breathe, rest, grow, and love.

This is why so many people in the present day are hitting a wall or actually collapsing more quickly and more dangerously than any generation before. There are times where I am very aware that I would have died if I had been born into life 200 years ago. How many modern conveniences would I be without? Friends, I am not talking about technology. I am talking about packaged butter. I am talking about properly altered clothing. I am talking about an automobile. But at the same time, the women that were committed to life 200 years ago were not as engrossed in a life of comparison because their neighbor was not VISIBLE. Their time was committed to living their best life with what God had given them and a life of gratefulness for the ability to rise and raise a hallelujah once more. If they could read, they did read their scripture. If they could write, they would make sure to reach out to loved ones near and far with an actual quill and paper. If they could bake, their kitchen was always full of the smells of freshness. If they could sew, their children were covered and prepared for the day. If they could sing, their day was full of song that literally came from the bottom of their heart, not a device that played someone else’s worship anthem.

They knew their purpose and did not seek to make it mold into someone else’s box. Many of them remained uninformed about things that were not pertinent to them. Truthfully, many women did not even know who the President was, much less the first lady or what her China pattern was. They saw their neighbors at church on Sunday and maybe as they crossed paths on their journey to town for more staples. There was not time to compare the fabric swatches or to ask about how many hair pins they used that morning to create the necessary updo they were wearing to endure the tasks of the day.

And here we are. Exhausted. Easily bored. Consumed with debt. Ashamed of what we haven’t accomplished comparatively. Discouraged by voices that we may or may not even know.

The women that God has created over the history of time has not ceased to have distinguishable purpose. The women that God has created over the history of time are each uniquely made. The women from yesterday matter and the women of tomorrow matter. Yet the woman you are right now is what matters the most, for she is influencing and shaping not only who you will become, but who those falling under your influence shall become. It is time to identify her purpose. It is time to set her apart as her very own creation. It is time to rescue her from her floating for survival. It is time to teach her to not just swim, but to take flight.


Did you attend the Night of Purpose? If not, did you begin January 1 with a goal for the year? A list of goals for the year? A dream for your future? And how are you on that goal/dream now? Are you progressing to accomplishment or coasting in neutral praying that something will happen to you to springboard your momentum?

That goal/list/dream was birthed in you for a purpose. However, the absence of action to pursue the purpose is by choice and not by chance. The accomplishments come through effort, not happenstance. What changes have you made since that night of re-centering? What exercises have you put into place to make steps in the direction you desire? What boundaries have you established AND respected to safeguard your purpose?

We are not here by accident. We are here for such a time as this. Yet, purpose is imperative or we shall end this life reflecting on what might have been instead of what extraordinary adventure we encountered.

Let’s review and revisit this purpose while we sit here under the protection of quarantine. I am ready. How about you?