Truth and Grace. Grace and Truth. No matter the order, the balance of both are necessary. As I have journeyed through my life and the adventures that I have been allowed, I have grown in both of these capacities in both triumphant victories and painful loss. However, I am also learning that pain must precede growth and without pain, there is no advancement for me or for the kingdom.
I remember waking in the middle of the night when I was going through pre-teens with throbbing pains in my legs and sometimes arms. I would be unable to get comfortable and would toss and turn. If only I enjoyed reading then like I do now. I would have escaped into another world and lulled myself back to sleep with the comforts that come from Narnia or the Secret Garden. Regardless, those pains were just a part of maturing in my physical development. My mama called them “growing pains.” I am now a whopping 5’4” and would be no where near this stretch if my body had not extended itself beyond the temporary boundaries at given times. The pain was momentary in the grand scheme, but necessary for the development of my finished product that God was shaping.
I remember learning of a rumor that had spread about me in high school. Now the person I was in high school loved Jesus, but she was also confrontational and bolder. She wasn’t married to a pastor; therefore, the ability to be outspoken and to call it like I see it was not out of the question. I actually left class and went and found the source of my rumor and demanded they correct the false statement immediately. I knew the truth and wanted it to be clear to all who had heard otherwise. There was no room for grace to be extended to my slanderer as I had no care in the world for their justification.
I remember learning of a friend who had hurt me by a decision they had made that affected my entire family. I remember these events vividly in life, don’t you. Yet, when this event happened, I was softened far more than other members of my family. I was not mad, simply sad for my friend. I was sad for the journey for which they were now having to embark. I was sad for those who were unable to see my friend through the same goggles. I was sad that our friendship might never be the same and I didn’t really have control. But I forgave this friend almost immediately. It was so different than how I felt in high school. There was not an immediate need to confront and force the rectification of the matter. I waited and prayed patiently as events unfolded. I extended grace.
I remember the day I realized that grace has been given to me in abundance by Christ and I am in no way worthy of this gift. Yet, day in and day out, I am called to recognize the gift and fulfill my purpose of extending the message of this gift to all who are able to listen. He has given me a story to tell and He is still writing. The new decade has all of us in a reflective and forecasting state. We want to dream and plan and build on what has already occurred. We want to improve and grow in monetary ways, in healthy living, in wisdom and favor with God and man. In our improvement and growth, there must also be discomfort. Truth hurts.
I remember those growing pains. I am now old enough to know that the pains I have in my physical body are no longer growing pains, but rather growing old pains. I am also now old enough to know that my growing pains in truth and grace are continuous. Growing pains in truth and grace are rewarding. Growing pains in truth and grace are peaceful. It is the exhaustion when you collapse on the bed after a night of mentoring teenagers at a Disciple Now. It is the disappointment that you cannot go on vacation with your friend because you have already budgeted to go on a trip with your church. It is the frustration when your coworker gets the promotion when you were doing everything right. Grace comes in and makes your sleep blissful. Grace steps in and awakens your soul to the mission field. Grace steps in and shows you the job you were called to do, not the other side of the fence you are comparing yourself to.
I remember the day I realized that growing in the truth of Jesus is the most rewarding and the grace He extends to me makes life so much less painful. For in his truth, I live a life that is more rewarding and peaceful than I could ever experience out of His truth. Recently, I have stepped out of the shadow of burden bearing and into the truth of accountability and trust. The release of that burden as freeing as the release of chains. I am aware of pain still to left to be endured. Yet, I am ready for He is full of grace. High school me wants to leave class and boldly go tell the story. Older me says be patient and allow Him to tell the story. May my growing pains bring Him all the glory and honor.
