Yesterday, I took part in what will most likely be a 2-3 week long process in our house. I started the Spring Cleaning sweep. Usually, the first thing I tackle is our closets. Right now, there is a strange, but systematic order to my madness. It could use some tweaking, and each year I try to make it more streamlined so I can shave a day or week off of this ordeal, but so far, still takes forever. Emma, my 9 year old, is blessed with new-to-her clothes from friends of our family. We take time to go through her precious gifts and figure out what can go in the closet now and what needs to be put away until she is slightly taller. Ha. Tall. Powells. Ha. Sorry, got tickled with that oxymoron.
After she picks her new additions to her closet, we must then remove from her closet the items that are to be blessed down to her younger, and yet almost the same size, sister. I must admit that I was quite proud with the way in which she let go of many items from her closet. Perhaps the heart-to-heart she had with her father several nights before concerning attachment to things was effective. She looked forward to being able to share her blessings with Abbi. After the purging of the closet, there was the restocking. Being blessed with new everything (thank you EJA), Emma took out some new items to put on for her pajamas last night.
It was as she was turning the shirt over multiple times to make sure the tag was on the right side before she pulled it over her head that I was caught in one of those moments. As she dressed herself, I still saw my tiny 2 year old that was just learning how to dress herself. As she grasped the material, I still saw her little hands and realized that though she was very far away from being my baby, she was still my little girl. It was at this moment that time froze for just a moment and a thousand thoughts ran through my mind at a million miles an hour. Memories of watching her learn to dress herself back when she was still tiny; when she first learned to put on shoes on the correct feet; when she first learned to tie her shoe; when she first started picking out her own outfits; when she first had displeasure for outfits I picked out; when she started brushing her own hair; when she started brushing her own hair without my help...
Then I was also paralyzed by the truth. Nine years are gone. Nine years of my ONE CHANCE to make a difference and to be the mom that she needs and to be the woman who models a godly example to her have flown by. But as she demonstrated to me her still delicate handling of items a precious innocence that is not quite lost, she also reminded me that I still have time and it is imperative that I be wise...so that one day she can be wise for her little one.
All of Proverbs is consumed with the charge for an adherence to wisdom. More specifically, there is instruction in the first few chapters for us to listen to our father's instruction (or mother). In Proverbs 4, there is challenge to listen so that you may live and find protection. Proverbs 4:23 says, Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life.
I have taken this verse for personal consumption all of my life. Today it is new. Have I taught Emma and Abbi to guard their heart? Have I exposed them to methods to combat conflicts and problems so that they can still maintain a guarded heart? Have I shown them how to "let your eyes look straight ahead, fixing your gaze directly before you" as stated in Proverbs 4:25? Though I have now completed 1/2 of the time that I have with Emma guaranteed under my roof, I still have time. Oh how I am aware that they are watching. Oh how I want to not make their hearts a center of strife and disappointment in their future because they have not learned to guard it. Oh, how I want them to learn to have a great enjoyment of life and explore the world for all that God has to offer while fixing their gaze upon Him.
For you, there may seem like there is time lost. However, if you have anyone of the ability to exercise influence, than show them how to guard their heart and to keep their gaze directly before them. Know that someone is ALWAYS watching. It might be your children. It might be grandchildren. It might be your neighbor. It might be an older adult. It might be you. Let them be little. Oh do not ask them to be so focused on their future that they are not still children. But when being little turns into being an adult as playground drama causes the revelation of an unguarded heart, this is your moment. Teach them. There is still time.
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