Last night we played board games as a family and I was in hog heaven. (How ‘bout that for colloquialism) Our girls got several great games for Christmas which created awareness in me at how few classic board games we did have. During the game, I found a mixture of emotions within our little family. There was angst from making decisions about what is the best strategy. There was celebration from victorious choices and frowns from rejection or disappointment of poor choices. Occasionally, I spotted slight glimpses of impatience, and you can determine where that emotion emanated. The inevitable distraction occurred when you sit down to focus on a game of strategy with 2 kiddos under the age of 10. There was cheerleading that subconsciously oozed out of me as my kids were learning new games and making decisions.
You see, the grin was not because he saw me as a great cheerleader for my children. Don’t get me wrong. He hasn’t suggested my parenting was inadequate here with this grin. No, no. This grin was because of a subconscious struggle I have when presented with choices. This grin was in reference to my inability to take a standardized test without a panic attack. I am the kid that can explain to you why answers A, B, C, & D are all correct. And at that moment during the game, it clicked with him that I was doing just that with the answers presented by my family. This is the faulty side of this characteristic.
Yet, again, I see the positive of it, and once again demonstrating my ability to justify everything. This trait that I possess has grown over the years into a positive as I have been challenged in multiple ways to perceive life. Life happens. I can spend the precious limited time I have here worrying, stewing, lamenting, or plotting; OR I can spend these cherished moments making memories and acknowledging my blessings and treasures.
Now honestly, do not assume that I am some Snow White or Briar Rose skipping through the field and wood holding hands with a raccoon and rabbit. I do not want to share my house with creatures that should remain in the field from where they came. We are doing what we can to discourage them from taking up residency in our home. And truthfully, we find victory when we are able to successfully catch one of the smaller visitors and remove him from our home. Yet, they are here because they want what I have. Therefore, I must pause and realize I have something that others are in want of.
We have much. We do. We must stop and force ourselves to deny the rejection and fear to cripple us, but instead allow the grace, mercy, joy, and hope to overwhelm us. Do you stop and realize that in the midst of your chaos? Have you been able to see the small sliver of joy and or hope in the storm clouds you walk through? Has your mind been filled with a negative emotion that can be changed into positive energy when perspective is checked? Stay tuned. My next post will be a listing of the positives out of my storms for 2014. Imagine that…God is at work.