Follow

The little missionary girl continues…

She was aware that God was calling her to follow Him, but as to whether it was the far East as she secretly fell in love with Hong Kong or if it was to just the eastern parts of the United States…that was up in the air. As I grew in my development through the wonderful era of middle school and high school, I struggled with the typical identity crisis that all adolescence battled. Though I was a believer and possessed within me this still small voice that whispered wisdom and caution, I still wanted to fit in to the mainstream. And I know that God has made me and created within me the drive and ambition that exists, there is always going to be that fine line of what is my desire and what is His desire. From time to time, I decided that my desire was His…when it wasn’t. I made decisions about places that I chose to give my time and attention to that were most likely not the best use of my energy and my image.

Does that make sense? I know that God grants us freedoms and I was aware of the surface understanding of that freedom as a teenager. Yet, my heart was still so immature and unable to truly practice this freedom in a way that was truly honoring and glorifying to the One who granted such freedoms. Though I was free in Christ, I am not free to cause others to stay distant from Christ. So there is an unfortunate selfishness that comes with the exercising of freedoms bringing those who are in the celebration of freedom with you in a place of decision. Is the God with whom she (Jodi) professes to worship the same God that I have heard of throughout sporadic mentioning within my child-rearing? Well if it is, and she is participating in the same extracurricular activities as me, than I am good, right? Wrong! Yet, my life did not give them pause.

I was the “everybody’s friend” kid in school. I don’t think that I was truly aligned with the in crowd nor do I think I was too terribly aligned with any clique more strongly than another. I did have a core group of friends who were also believers and who were also loveable by many. Frankly, I think this was a benefit as I began to wrestle through the hypocrisy I found myself in. As I realized that my decisions affected more than just me, I also realized that the connections that I had made in all of my socializing proved to give me a heart for the struggle of the teen. My heart learned to listen and not just judge – as it once did. My heart began to process the pain and struggle of friends and schoolmates as I started to understand why they made some of the decisions that they made. My mind was able to formulate the rationale behind the choices and direction of life and in so doing, I was also approachable. My approachability allowed me to be able to listen when others would not and my approachability would also, from time to time, allow for God to speak through me as He wanted to reach out to these fellow students who were in need of hearing that they mattered and their decisions were forgivable and that their future was salvageable.

God is good. So this leads me to the whole college entrance with a major in psychology. I would save the world through counseling and most likely end up in some form of youth ministry. I get it. God was building me to lead Disciple Now weekends and to write Bible study curriculum…sorta. God was giving me an understanding of childhood and adolescence so that my ability to serve in the schools was a ministry and not just an employment. God was giving me a heart for the unheard. God was calling me into ministry not only in my occupation, but in my life over all.

In March of 2000, I was 3 months into an engagement with this guy who was in medical school. What he didn’t know and still questions is that I was planning to marry my soul mate – the person whom God had paired me with in order to do work for His kingdom. Therefore, his occupation did not matter to me. If he was a doctor of medicine, than I envisioned us taking medical missionary trips together in the future. If he was a carpenter, than we would build playground equipment and habitat homes in the future together. I didn’t care. But he did. In March of 2000, my fiancé called me one Wednesday evening to tell me that he had heard from the Lord. I love these moments. I don’t know life without them. God speaks and we listen and it is that simple. Goosebumps, right? Well, the Lord had clearly told him to remove himself from medical school and pursue a career in the ministry. My fiancé feared that I would leave him because apparently I had appeared to be a gold digger. 

But remember the little missionary girl? Well, she came alive that night and wept with joy that once again, all the pieced began to take place. Jodi, you will love the ones who need the love the most and you will listen to them all. Jodi, you will adapt your life in order to reach the unreachable. Jodi, you will serve my kingdom through the schools so that you can help impact more families for my kingdom. Jodi, you will have the personality needed to compliment a minister. Jodi, you will use your event planning and leadership to help your spouse creatively lead a flock. Jodi, you will utilize your faith in prayer to get you through some challenging times (oh and what I didn’t know then…). Jodi, you will have supportive family members who will walk with you through this new adventure. Jodi, your spouse will make big decisions and brave decisions and will need you to be his cheerleader through and through. Jodi, your physical strength will be challenged and you will need to maintain it for my glory. Jodi, your trust in my provisions will be challenged, and I will show up.

I shared my whirlwind of affirmation with my fiancé over the phone that night and allowed him to know that I was behind him 100%. For I also trusted that his knowledge of science and medicine would be a part of our ministry in the years to come. I knew that this season had purpose and as I reflected upon where we were and the previous seasons coming to clarity, I believed that my Savior would make it all clear once more in His time. So I follow…

Timing is everything and timing is perfect when it is of the Lord.