What If

Middle School. Or shall I say Junior High. Ah yes, many of us just did that weird empathetic wincing sound that makes us full of uncomfortableness as we recount our experience. We were in a very pivotal developmental stage during these years. This is a time in life filled with hormone changes and identity crisis. This is when many boys experience the luxury of getting facial hair and that deep "man" voice that they have been hoping to achieve while ridding themselves of the squeak. This is when many girls receive that monthly visit from their aunt that they are still to this day not looking forward to. This is the time when acne first ramps up and if uncontrollable alters their identity. This is the time where hair is important and knowing how to fix it in the latest style is crucial for day to day acceptance. And if we must open the door to appearance-led acceptance, we must also usher in the pressure of label - what company manufactured your article of clothing. Of all these major and minor crisis that expose their ugly heads all in a short period of time, the most important one that I ALWAYS tell the teens I interact with is the establishment of their clique. Seriously. This identifies them greater than any of the other life-changing matters. These are the people who will walk with them through the next developmental phase and these are the people that will influence their decisions. These are the people with whom they will arrive at conviction and opinion. These are the people who will give them comfort and encouragement. Crucial.

I have taught this age for 11+ years. I have watched this battle long enough to know which student is going to turn out which way by the end of the year. Predictable, they are. There are markers and conditions that assist in the prediction of the next stage of their life. Do they have both parents at home? Are both parents actually involved in their life? BOTH. Girls need dads to show them how men should treat women and what a head of a household should look like. Boys need moms to show them how women should treat men and what the helpmate should look like. Their self-confidence coming into middle school is imperative to survival and emergence. Their coping ability and problem solving skills should be sharpened during this time, not just beginning. If any of these factors are off, it is possible that development can be skewed unless there is intervention or substitution. Possible, but not guaranteed.

As I have emerged as a woman, I have peeled back so many of the markings I bare from as far back as grammar school. Sometimes I forget about them, but sometimes they rear their ugly head and alter my decisions or self-confidence or movements.

After attending a women's conference recently, I became aware of a very simple yet extremely relevant question - what if? If God is real, as I say He is, what if I act like it? The God who made me many moons ago is the God who walked with me through those phases of the moon. He was there and is here and will be there. God is real. I don't live a life that totally trusts and believes that. I live a life of comfort and avoidance of fear. "God, you know my abilities, so you will understand if I decline that opportunity. God, you know that I can do this, so I will do this to further your kingdom. God, you know how this type of situation awakens that insecurity and makes me feel farther from you, so I will not participate. God, I don't believe you can." Though the last statement has NEVER left my lips, my life has demonstrated it. Those elevated insecurities that we feel during middle school are the same insecurities that hold us back from moving forward.

We want to belong to something bigger. We want to be accepted. We want to appear collected. We dare not admit that we cannot handle it. We dare not admit that we have a wound that has never healed properly. We dare not admit that we have not confessed all of our wrong to the King who already knows your sin. We hide in our victimization and stay there because though unpleasant, it is somewhat comfortable.

What if we became uncomfortable so that we cannot be alone? What if we became uncomfortable so that someone that we claim to love feels the love and perhaps even feels the love of their Creator? What if we love ourselves instead of holding it to a comparison and insulting God's handiwork? What if we loved Him with the same unconditional love that He loves us? God is the one who can supply all of our needs and wants us to be relevant to a generation that could lose Him if we are not more actively engaged in the pursuit of truth.

If God is real, then what? Build a well? Write a book? Adopt a child? Knit a scarf for the homeless? Tutor a child? Plant a garden to give away? What's your "what?"