Perplexed

So many situations have been presented to my husband and me along our little journey that have truly been matters of faith challenging, knee scraping, tear soaking, and helpless paralyzation. However, I have not been numb to the fact that we are not alone in these moments that present to us the very question that Satan wishes to pose to the followers of his enemy, "do you believe?" Can you recollect a time in your life where you have, maybe not said out loud, but thought, "Where are you, God?" Has there been an event or two or twenty-two that has left you feeling exhausted and hopeless when you know you are called to "fight the good fight" and there is no "fight" left in you? Or here's a question that I have even caught myself asking, "God, what have I done to bring upon myself such a conundrum?"

As of this present moment, I am confident of this, that He who began a good work in me will finish. Here is where I am grateful for the blessings of His evidence in my life. And here is where I think those who are lost in their troubles are unable to find the hope that He so desperately wants them to see/hear/feel. When I am faced with a new challenge, because I have been involved in challenges truly more often than my little mind could even grasp 20 years ago, I am reminded at little things that God is and I AM NOT. For instance, I am all about a project, but often I find myself not completing the project. (Insert embarrassed smile here) God WILL finish. He, who began, will complete. God is a healer. The God who has healed my husband TIME AND TIME again is the same God that healed my mother who is now completely whole as she dwells in eternity with Him. The same God that gave us a child when it was said by our doctors that it would be difficult and possibly unlikely, gave us two. The same God that embraced my mother into eternity, placed His healing hands on my father just a year later and removed the plague of cancer so that he could enjoy his grandchildren for a bit more, better yet, meet three of them before she does. The same God that blessed us with child our third took her because she was formed in a way that would allow the world to be kind and decided that my mother would get to meet her first.

So I find myself perplexed. There are people in this world who are confident of their relationship with the Almighty Creator, but when things become complicated, they fall into a pit of hopelessness and anger. Now, let me tell you that I know as these words leave my mind and enter this page, it is fueling the Evil One with creating in my life that very feeling so that I will curse my Creator and be useless for His kingdom. Therefore, it is important that my guard be more prepared and not lax. There is another time and another blog for that prep work. You see, God has given us the gift of emotion and has not banned us from use of it. We have freedom in Christ to hurt. We have freedom in Christ to mourn. We have freedom in Christ to celebrate. We have freedom in Christ to think. However, we do not have freedom in Christ to be idle. Idleness comes when we consume ourselves with worrying about what tomorrow will hold because of our predicament. Idleness comes when we allow the "what if" game to become the forefront of our motives. Idleness comes when we grieve over something that has caused us pain, but allowed someone else freedom and joy. Idleness comes when we avoid things because we are unsure of what "might" happen and therefore, we do not step forward...we stand still. People are watching how you handle your struggles and if you model idleness, it replicates. Pretty soon, we have a community of idle citizens accomplishing nothing and expecting something to happen.

God and I have had many, MANY, many talks over the years of my life. I don't hide things from Him. He knows my thoughts, so why try to hide. I have told Him when I am lonely. I have told Him when I am scared. I have told Him when I am uncertain. I have told Him when I am disappointed. I have told Him when I wanted things to be another way. I have told Him when I am struggling and feel weak. I have told Him when I am battling anger with people that He has called me to love. I have told Him when I see it a different way. I have told Him when I desperately need to see it His way. Each time, He has lovingly extended patience with me and has allowed me just enough comfort to put my feet down and take a step...sometimes super small, but forward.

My God is so BIG, so STRONG, and so MIGHTY. There is NOTHING my God cannot do. You see, I am very aware that my situation is but temporary. And I am not just referring to my time on earth; I am referring to my moment here in January of 2014. I know that today even as it is beginning can be full of an entirely new perplexing agenda. I know that my heart can be thwarted and calmed and jerked and swollen all in the same moment. I have felt that. Yet I know whom I have believed, that He is faithful. God and I have this great relationship, you see. My husband finds himself irked by my approach to God from time to time, but I believe that a true relationship is one where both people understand each other. My God created me, so undoubtedly, He understands me. I am a "fleece thrower" so to speak. I ask God for signs. Now, before you go joining my husband's side, I don't ask for it to literally rain on a specific area on the ground while leaving the other area dry. Nor do I ask for 3 lightning bolts to appear in the shape of a triangle or anything like that. I simply ask for Him to reveal to me His desires for my life and to reveal to me that He is near. He does it. Over and over and over and over again, He has faithfully placed His hand on my shoulder and comforted me.

So my perplexion is with those who don't ask for the comfort? He knows your hurt. He is with you in the midst of your storm. He wants to reveal to you His presence and let you know that He is listening. The complication comes with the matter of trust. Do you trust Him enough to look for His presence and accept it? Do you trust Him to do what He says He will do? Do you trust Him to be bigger than anything else on this earth HE CREATED? Do you trust Him enough to stop talking and listen? Do you trust Him enough to give up what you think is best, and be obedient to His Lordship and leadership? Do you trust Him enough to say NO to the world?

Are you perplexed? Or are you comforted?