Saturday, January 04, 2014

New Year, New You, Right?

Though it cliché, every year I try to make a goal for myself for the upcoming calendar year. So often people make 1, 2, even 10 resolutions to achieve over the upcoming 365 days. Yet also, so often people fail within the first 1-3 months of this commitment. My husband abhors this concept. He is of the belief that we shouldn't just take one time out of the year to make goals and strive for achievement. We should be striving to better ourselves with new breath and strength each and every day. I tend to agree to an extent; however, as an educator, setting a "finish line" for me is crucial to intrinsic motivation.

The term resolution is something that we have always just used as tradition or in passing. It is either used to identify these somewhat attainable goals created by self or to describe the visibility of our HD television. Yet my great friend Merriam-Webster defines the term resolution as the act of finding an answer or solution to a problem or conflict. Reread that definition one more time. A resolution is the act of finding an answer or solution. In order to need an answer/solution there must first be a question/problem. Now this gives completely new meaning to a New Year's resolution to me.

You see, the idea of improving yourself means that you must first find that which of yourself is imperfect. As we have read through the Word from the Creator of this world, there was only one who was perfect to walk on this Earth. Therefore, if we are to take a moment and look in the mirror, we must look deeper. You may be one of those beautiful people with flawless skin, hair full of body, or a physique that is lacking any more sculpting. You might be a brilliant leader, a skilled laborer, or a loyal ally. Your Bible knowledge might shame others, your service to the community is merited of awards, or your worship is uninhibited. But somewhere you are marred. Somewhere you are lacking. Somewhere there is room for improvement.

We are finding more and more evidence in the generation that is being produced today a resounding confidence that is both positive and negative. Self-awareness and self-confidence are crucial to create individuals who can be the innovative leaders and workers of tomorrow. However, there is a fine line between self-confidence and arrogance. More often than not, we are being confronted in various venues in our society the concept of entitlement. People are presenting themselves as deserving of financial privileges or forgiveness; deserving of benefits or freedoms; deserving of inclusion or adoration. Please do not misunderstand me. I want my children to enter into adulthood aware of their talents and abilities and armed with wisdom and skills that will not only equip them to survive, but will also provide them advancement to excellence. Part of that skill set is humility and suffering. Part of that skill set is disappointment and correction. Part of that skill set is challenge and adversity. Part of that skill set is self-evaluation and intrinsic motivation to improve upon past conflict and to find a solution to their problem or an answer to their question...not for me to find it for them.

In order for my children to learn how to enact this principle, they must have it modeled. We have always heard the other great colloquialism "practice what you preach," but it is true. However, some of us are at a place where we no longer even "preach" so to say. There is an absence of instruction in today's society on how to resolve anything besides a math equation or a bullying intervention. Even in those instances, answers are being provided, not discovered. As a parent now, I am becoming so aware of the struggles that my parents faced. These are not the struggles that first come to mind such as providing a warm meal on the table every night or making sure that my kids have appropriate attire for the elements. Struggles like being a listener as they work through a conflict with a classmate and not immediately picking up the phone to solve the problem for them. Struggles like allowing them to work on a large project for school and not doing it for them when we know it could be better or when they just didn't have enough time because of their hectic schedule. Struggles like establishing financial boundaries even at the grocery store when they ask for the items that are out of the budget for that trip, but you know it will make them happy. Struggles like career orientation or where they will choose to study and prepare for this career. Struggles like bailing them out of trouble when they have made wrong choices...or simply holding to your disciplinary parameters when it seems heartbreaking to watch. Struggles like knowing when you ARE to intervene and push them to a decision that is for their betterment now and/or in the future. Struggles like SAYING NO.

It is not just a principle to be modeled for children. It is to be modeled for ALL. Whether we like it or not, we are all under observation (some of us more than others). When we set a goal and do not stay committed to this goal, we are telling others that this behavior is acceptable. Therefore, we have at least 3 generations now of uncommitted contributors to society...people who verbally agree to a goal, a job, and a relationship and eventually fizzle out because it is too hard. We have a population of people who are not looking for an answer/solution to their question/problem. Like my husband as stated, resolutions are a joke. Agreed. Statistics say that less than 19% of people actually achieve their New Year's resolution. That is evident in our society today. It is crumbling because of lack of commitment to improve or achieve.

Though I am just one (you are just one), I have put much more thought into my "resolution" for this upcoming 2014. My goals are attainable, but challenging. My goals are important for the improvement of self so that self can assist in the improvement of others. My goals come with an underlying motivation that I will not be alone in my struggles. Though it will be difficult, my solution to my problem is the Creator of all things and the sustainer of my heart and the Savior of my soul. Though my goals are not something for which I can find immediate results, I know where to find the answer when a question is posed along the journey. With that awareness, I can look in the mirror and find that which God needs me to improve upon and strive to be obedient to His command to improve.

How committed are you to your resolution?

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