Different

Am I different? I don’t believe so. I do not feel that I stand out among others. I do not feel that I would be listed as among those who are not conformers to the world. I do not feel that I am above reproach most of the time. In fact, I feel mediocre and inept. Yet, that is not what God is truly saying to me. He is saying so much more and waiting on me to sit still long enough for him to whisper His truth into my ears, my heart, and my soul.

It takes that depth, friend. It takes that time. It takes that awkward silence. It takes that breathing in and out of His word. Yet, in those moments, I realize that He has made me different and it is in those moments that I feel humbled and in awe. Make no misunderstanding. I am not boasting in some unique gift or ability. I do not feel that I am special or that I should be recognized or rewarded. Do not hear that at all.

I am different. This is to say that although I am made in the image of God, just like each and every other person on earth, I am uniquely designed to be exactly me. I am called by name by Him with purpose and direction. I have gifts and abilities that are similar to other people, but He wants to use my gifts and abilities for different plans.

I am different. This is to say that although I am made in the image of God, just like each and every other person on earth, I am uniquely designed to be exactly me. I am equipped with physical abilities and endurance that is allowed by my Creator so that I can use this temple to best glorify Him. When I am still, it is also then that He whispers to me how I can better care for my temple in order to allow it to experience all that He longs to reveal to me.

I am different. This is to say that although I am made in the image of God, just like each and every other person on earth, I am uniquely designed to be exactly me. I have an emotional intelligence level not shared by all that allows me to see human beings in a deeper level understanding that there are chapters of a story that have been written leading up to the now. This is not to say that all should not seek to understand one another, but there is a difference in being able to people watch in the grocery store and look into someone’s eyes and see that a long day on the job is not the only reason for their exhaustion.

I am different. This is to say that although I am made in the image of God, just like each and every other person on earth, I am uniquely designed to be exactly me. I battle the internal struggle of when is it OK to tend to self and not tend to others as I know that my service to others is only as good as my recharged self. I have read the books that teach me to say NO, but I still need His voice and sometimes His physical hand to keep me from raising my hand to say, “I will do it.” He has given me the ability to see where service is needed, but the patience to wait for the exact one He is calling into the position of service is where I sometimes fall short.

I am different. This is to say that although I am made in the image of God, just like each and every other person on earth, I am uniquely designed to be exactly me. I recognize the impact of my words and sometimes hold them close until I feel the recipient is prepared to hear them. Yet, I hold them close for too long as well as God has physically pushed me towards someone to speak TRUTH that I was terrified for them to receive. Yet, TRUTH will set you free, so why would I not want to set someone free?

I am different. This is to say that although I am made in the image of God, just like each and every other person on earth, I am uniquely designed to be exactly me. I am a weirdo that did enjoy middle school and high school. Yet see above, I realize all that I learned in those experiences and relationships and I have carried them with me to help me continue to be the different that God intends for me to be. I want to recapture the confidence and security of that girl I knew back then and release her into the setting within which I now sit.

I am different, because I know that as I hear the whisper for the third time, I recognize that He is truly talking to me. I realize that His word is seeping into my pores and penetrating my soul. I understand that I am not just getting weird feelings, but rather I am experiencing GOD. I hear Him once and somewhat cock my head to the side and make that inquisitive “Huh?” sound. I hear Him twice, and my heart beats a little differently as I am aware that His Spirit is at work and if I am not careful, it is about to get intimate and deep. (This is often the time where Satan will distract me with a child, a text, a dryer buzzer, a barking dog).

I hear Him a third time and a flock of geese fly by my window with the glaring obvious that my soul is stirred to a place that I cannot help but respond to God, my Savior. Tears fall and words of praise pour.

And through that, I am made different.