A Friend

When we moved, one of the things I fretted about was friendships for my children. I am a planner, and I want to know that if this scenario doesn't happen, then we try option B or C. Stick with me. So I prayed and prayed and prayed that God would deliver sweet little friends for my girls to help them grow into phenomenal women of God. God answered the prayer for my first little one by surrounding her with a precious group of friends at our church. However, I will tell you that our first year of transition was a tough year for her. Prior to our move, she had been enrolled in a preschool and was thriving. After our move, I stayed at home for a year and she became the child that hides behind Mommy's legs. Understandable though. She had a lot happen in just a few months - we changed states, added to our family with child #2, and oh yeah, her father almost died. More on that another day...

As the birth of my second child made changes in our home, it was apparent that I needed to return to work. My God provided a job and phenomenal childcare for my two little ones and the stages of development followed. My oldest came back out of her shell, well, as much as she will. However, my Mommy heart was struggling with my little one. She was really the only consistent little girl her age in church class. Because Abbi did not have any friends her age that were girls, she wanted to play with Emma and her friends. I did not want to make Emma play with her. So Mommy played with Abbi a lot when Emma's friends were over. I know, I am a sap.

Eventually my youngest followed my oldest as a student in our school districts unique preschool program entitled RISE. This program combined a fairly 50/50 ratio of typical and atypical students. The teacher that heads up this program, well, I will have to write another blog post about her. Tina Jernigan is probably the most amazing teacher and, now, friend that I have ever met. Both of our girls were reading fluently within the first semester even as she was teaching other students in the room to simply form their sweet little mouths for the sounds of letters. Mrs. Jernigan is phenomenal at what she does and simply as a person. Yes, I am tearing up as I write this. Though this class was life changing for both of my girls, it was an answer to prayer for Abbi.

Through this class, I got to watch Abbi begin some of her first and most treasured friendships. Because of her birthday, and public school requirements on age to start a school year, she actual spent 2 years in this same class. In year one, Abbi was able to begin and strengthen friendships that are still with her even though these friends are in different classes and different activities now. Finally, she did not need to play with her sisters friends (though she still does), because she had the confidence of having her own friends.

There is one friendship she developed that was unique and special in its own way. Now each relationship we form is different, but I knew this friendship was going to impact Abbi for the rest of her life. Within her class both years was a set of twins that were absolutely beautiful and full of personality and each different in their own way. Rose was spunky and sweet and brought about the leader in Abbi. Lily Belle was adorable and funny. She brought about the servant in Abbi. Abbi loved them both so very much and I feel the love was reciprocated. Yet it was Lilly Belle that she came home talking about every day. Let me tell you what Lilly Belle said today mom? Let me tell you what Lilly Belle did today mom?

There is something more that you should know, though. Lilly Belle suffered from a rare bone disease that had created great challenges to her over her first few years of life. She endured a bone marrow transplant before the age of 1 that saved her life, but there were conditions that had occurred to her before that transplant resulting in some slight disabilities. Lilly Belle was blind. She could not see Abbi, but she knew what Abbi looked like. I cannot even begin to tell you how amazing it was to watch them interact. Mind you, Lilly Belle was not blind to Abbi or Lilly Belle. Yet, I saw Abbi, AND OTHERS, make sure that Lilly Belle was getting the full extent of every experience they encountered together. Abbi would help her in the classroom and on the playground. They talked to each other like to teenage girls texting. They would both light up in the presence of the other.

Throughout the two years together, Abbi's love for Lilly Belle grew, as did Abbi's maturity in the process of connecting with people. Lilly Belle still suffered from discomforts from her disease and would be sick and out of school from time to time. Those times were hard on Abbi. Her first words into the car at the end of the day was, "Mom, Lilly Belle wasn't at school today." "Mom, Lilly Belle is still sick." "Mom, can we pray for Lilly Belle tonight? I miss her." "Mom, Lilly Belle had a headache today and had to go home." My conversations with Abbi during these times were of comfort and encouragement as we learned to trust LB's creator. However, I tried to explain some of Lilly Belle's illness to Abbi so she could understand why her headaches were different from our headaches.

In July of 2013, God decided that the suffering the Lilly Belle had endured for her five impacting years was enough and He chose to bring her to wholeness in His presence. The grief that is being experienced by her family is immeasurable and continues to reach new levels of coping. Please pray for their wounded hearts as this contagious personality that filled their home is no longer audible, only visible in picture and video. Though they know where she is and that she is without any discomfort and is running and singing and SEEING everything, it does not completely close the wound. I am not in their home on a daily basis, but when I even try to put myself in that same situation, it is difficult to wrap my mind around.

How did this impact Abbi? Deeply. Three of the four of us were enroute to Ecuador on a mission trip when this happened. So unfortunately, we had to wait until we were all home again to tell Abbi. We wanted to be with her through questions as well as escort her through her steps of grieving and closure. Upon our arrival back to our home, I spent the day worrying over how to begin that discussion. God provided me the jump start as my sweet oldest child inquired about the health of her little sister's friend. I took them both into Abbi's room and I sat down holding Abbi's hand and explained to her how God decided to heal her. It was at this moment of three Powell girls sobbing that I was able to hear God clearly say to me, "you prayed for her to have a real friend, and the agony she is displaying right now is an answer to prayer." So the tears poured even more.

To know that God had given my daughter the ability to have a friend that she connected with enough to truly grieve is an amazing bittersweet joy. You see, there are adults who have yet to have a friend like that. But because Abbi loved, it hurt. However, this kind of hurt is needed in order to truly begin to understand God's love for us. We love because He first loved. Some might say that a five year old will not be impacted later in life by such a moment. I watch decisions she makes daily based upon that love. It has changed her life, and quite frankly all of our lives. Though their friendship was really on the equivalent of 2 years, it was deep and precious. My heart is ever grateful that the Maker of the Universe not only heard my cries for my child, but He chose to allow her to cross paths with a friend who would change her life.

As I read back through 1 & 2 Samuel studying the friendship of Jonathan and David, I was reminded of Lilly Belle and Abbi. This story of sacrificial and unconditional love for a friend is moving and priceless, but what struck me this time was the duration. You see, in the grand picture of David's life, Jonathan was only a part of the introduction. He was only around for a short time. He died just as David was taking power over Judah. However, his death erupted a wealth of emotions from David as this friend was priceless to him was no longer able to be around. David is described as a man after God's own heart, but we also know that David was truly human. I imagine that David was a little mad at God at the loss of this treasured relationship. I imagine that David saw Jonathan walking through these next few stages of his life alongside him, but now he would not.

Abbi never thought that Lilly Belle would not be with her and she grieved and still grieves that she is not, but we are working through it. Yesterday Lilly Belle would have been 6 years old. Yesterday I cried for my daughter who lost her friend. I cried for a family that had a very challenging day to celebrate as Lilly Belle's precious sister Rose and older sister Delilah celebrated their birthdays as well. I cried tears of joy for a little girl who sees beauty and feels wholeness that I can only dream of.

Have you had that friend yet? Or are you afraid to develop that intimate of a relationship with anyone because you don't want to get hurt? God created us to have relationships. You are missing out of all that He has for your life if you are avoiding this challenge. Yes they can be hard, but I will tell you that those that bless me enough to call me friend are definitely sent by God. He is sending people your way...just make sure you are seeing people through His eyes and not your jaded world eyes. They are there, waiting to bless you. Take the step and model for others how to begin a friendship.