Thursday, October 24, 2013

One More

As we enter into adulthood, it becomes all the more real that age old statement from our parents - "you just wait until ____________". You can fill in the blank - you're my age, or you have children, or you have a house of your own, or you are married for 20 years... But geez, it is all the more startling at just how RIGHT they are. As we enter into adulthood, we begin to embrace the death of our irresponsibility and freedom while also embracing the gratifying experience of responsibility and commitment. Do you feel that as well? For some this happens at 18. Some even 25. Others, more like 45, but we all feel it at some point. I remember realizing at various points in my life, "this is it." I will never be the same. It is monumental and humbling all at the same time.

When Emma, our first born, arrived there was an overwhelming rush of multiple emotions. Not just the understood, "oh my goodness, we have a baby!" Or "this is the most incredible miracle I have ever seen" or "oh my goodness, we have a baby" (said the second time in fear). No, there were more emotions than that. The realization that all of the pretend play you had just some 20 years before has finally come to a reality strikes you on multiple occasions as a woman. The realization that you must make enough money to feed another mouth and put this child through a beneficial educational and life experience strikes you as a man. The awareness of how many things can cause illness or how dangerous a playground is or why a schedule is imperative to peaceful life experience...

...or why your parents said all of the things they said and did all of the things they did. You remember that? When you became aware of words slipping out of your mouth that you had heard from your own mother. I'm not talking about the "because I said so" disciplinary tactic. The ways you express your love for your child, the lullabies you choose to sing as they begin to ring in your memories, the way you contemplate each decision you make because you are seeking to do what is best for your child - the child that has been gifted to you from the very one who gifts us with life.

When Abbi came, there was a fear of as to whether we would be able to effectively invest in the life of another little one as fully as we had our elder. Yet, again, as when Emma came into the world, that rush of emotions flooded our souls as we locked eyes with the unforgettable Abigail Jo. Not only did we get to experience the rush of emotions and tremendous joy all over again with another little one, we also got to witness the incredible growth and interaction of her older sister as she adjusted and accepted a sidekick. There was an indescribable interaction between the two as that first year unfolded. The end result of a year of deep investment by both parents was a little sibling who very obviously idolized the older sibling. In conjunction with that was an older sibling who very obviously mothered the younger one.

Our hearts are blessed with two amazing children, but God has allowed us to feel the pull to experience this rush of emotions one more time. This time, we get to watch two older siblings adjust and accept another family member. This time we get to experience the rush of emotions as this little one not only grows and develops but is also embraced by our family and friends as a treasured gift to our home. This time, we are going to find the joy in knowing that one more is one less - one less in the throes of poverty and dismal existence. One more in our home is one less struggling for life in a world unlike our one. One more is one less to not be exposed to the love of our Heavenly Father.

One more...

1 comment:

Unknown said...

So excited for you and the blessing that you and your family will receive from this little one :-) love you always!